I can't believe how I started my day! I checked my e-mail and found out that I won the lottery several times, from all over the world, even Bill Gates will be presenting me with a check. See, I really don't need the money, because some anonymous friends always send me stock tips and of course they always are about to explode!!!
But, on a sad note, I found out that a long lost relative died in an accident in Africa somewhere. Mr. Boutomocambo assured me personally that I am the only known kin that will be receiving the 25 million USD (my kin had a mine of some kind), of course minus his "processing fee." I only need to send in my SSN, bank account number, and full contact information to his secretary. Sweet deal, huh?
Since I've been single, many women from all over the world have found me, and all I need to do is help them with some money (btw, I won the lottery) because for some reason all of them have a mom that needs emergency surgery of some sort. Oh, can't forget the plane fare they need to "be with the man of their dreams!"
I guess I'll be ready for when she visits because I know of an online pharmacy that can deliver at the lowest rates and can help me increase the size...of uh, you know. Plus, I'll be all muscular in only 5 minutes a day, twice a week with this "Muscle Cream," that's scientifically proven by some MD in Sweden.
Of course, I can buy us a new house for us with no money down, no job, no credit check, bad credit,it's all OKAY! I qualified for a mansion on a 75 year loan.
So, here I'm sitting with my feet up in the air, and a sweet sounding girl tells me I just won an iPod Nano, cause I'm the one millionth visitor to their website. That's the one they are giving me to the left. Can't get any better than that!